*sweet8's Short Story: Competition Entry #1

[sweet8]

*Title: Bloody Moon

~Many years ago, when the world was ruled by vampires;
there was one, who was very different from the others. Her
name was Tabitha and she was their queen. She possessed
a unique power; that no other vampire had. She could turn
the moon red, at will. Everything seemed to be going grand,
for her. Then, one day; God decided to create humans. Among
them, was a vampire slayer. Tabitha was soon staked and her
loyal subjects, dispersed. Before her demise; she vowed that
when the moon turns to the color of blood(once more), she'll
return and destroy all humans.

*Present day: two days before Halloween*

~It was Friday night. Melanie Chase was walking down the
street, to her best friend's house; when she heard someone
whispering. She ignored it. It's just the wind, she thought to
herself. Then; she heard it again, but it was sounded closer
than before. She was frozen, with fear.

~She looked around and she saw no one. Her heart began
to race. She continued walking, only faster. The wind started
to blow through the trees. When she reached the end of the
street; she stopped for a minute, to catch her breath. Then;
the street light began to flicker. The whispering seemed to
have followed her, because she heard it and it sounded very
close. She started to get scared.

~Then; someone tapped her, on the shoulder. She screamed,
as she quickly turned around. It was just her best friend, Amy.
Melanie grabbed her chest, as she said: "Are you trying to give
me, a heart attack?!" Amy held up her hands, in defense. "I'm
sorry~but come on, it's Halloween." she replied. "Correction:
it is almost Halloween, Amy." Melanie answered.

~"Whatever. Mel; are you okay? You look like you've seen a
ghost." Amy asked. "Well, to be honest with you; I'm not so
sure." Mel responded, as her hands began to shake. "What
do you mean?" she replied. "Before you scared me, I have
been hearing this voice. It was so wierd." Melanie explained,
as she shoved her hands~into her pockets. The street light
started to flicker(again).

~"Let's head to my house, okay? Jake's waiting for us." Amy
suggested, as she wrapped her arm~around her friend(who
was shivering). Melanie nodded and together, they walked
down the street~to Amy's house. When they were halfway
there; a dark figure emerged, from behind a bush. This guy
was a little older than Mel & Amy. His hair was dark brown
and spiky. His ear piercing shimmered, in the moonlight. He
smiled, an evil smile. "I have found you, my sweet." he said
to himself, as he walked across the road and disappeared~
into the darkness of the woods.

[sweet8]

~Meanwhile, halfway down the street; Melanie and Amy
finally reached Amy's house. When they walked in, Jake
was nowhere to be seen. "Hmm, that's wierd." Amy said;
as she looked around. "Is this another one of your plans,
to scare the crap out of me?" "No." she answered, as she
turned around.

~Melanie took off her leather jacket and opened the coat
closet. Just then; a hand popped out and grabbed Mel, by
her wrist. She screamed, as she tried to get away. "Let me
go!" she yelled. "Fine." a voice responded, as the hand let
go of Melanie. She fell onto the hardwood floor, butt first.
A head, then popped out of the closet(smiling). It was only
Jake, Mel's other best friend. She glared at him. Amy began
to giggle. Mel shifted her green eyes, from Jake to Amy. By
the look on Melanie's face; Amy could tell that Mel was not
happy, so she stopped giggling.

~"That was not funny." Mel said, bitterly. Jake came out of
the closet and extended a hand~to his friend. She stared
at it, for a moment and looked up at him. He smiled. "I am
so sorry, Mel." he answered. She smiled back, as she took
his hand and he pulled her~to her feet.

~"Did I hurt you?" he asked. Melanie nodded her head, no.
She turned and glared at Amy. "Was this, your idea?" she
asked her friend. Amy bit her lip, as she nodded. Melanie
crossed her arms, across her chest. "Sorry." Amy said. Mel
took a step forward. "Do you know what this means, Amy?"
she asked. When Amy didn't answer, Mel continued. "This
means war." she added, sarcastically.

~Amy's blue eyes widened. Mel's expression softened, as
Jake took a step forward. "Let's change the subject, shall
we?" he suggested. "Okay. Anyone hungry?" Amy asked,
as she took a step backward~toward the kitchen. "I am.
How about you, Mel?'' Jake replied, as his eyes landed on
his friend.

~"Sure. Let's eat!" Melanie answered, as the three of them
headed toward the kitchen. Pretty soon; they acted as if the
little prank on Melanie, never occurred. They were talking &
laughing, like they always do. They snacked on choclate chip
cookies and sour cream & onion chips. Then; the clock chimed
the hour~9:00. They went up to Amy's bedroom and listened
to Green Day, as they continued to snack on cookies & chips.
Amy turned down the lights, while Jake turned off her stereo.
"Are you ready to hear spooky stories?" he asked. "Oh, come
on! Jake, we already heard all of your stories." Melanie said.
"You haven't heard this one." he answered.

~Melanie looked confused. "My father told me about this one.
He says, it's just an urban legend." he added, as he sat down
onto Amy's beanbag chair. "Just tell us, already." Amy replied,
as she sat down onto her bed. "Ok, but you asked for it. Many
years ago; legends say that the world was once ruled by the
undead." he explained. Amy raised her eyebrows.

[sweet8]

~"The undead? You mean, vampires?" she said.
He nodded, as he continued. "Yes, and they had
a special vampire queen. She could turn the moon
red, whenever she wanted to. But, one day; God
decided to create humans. One of them was made,
unique. That one, was a vampire slayer. The queen
was staked and instead of trying to save her; all of
her loyal subjects fled, in fear. Before the vampire
queen was staked; she vowed that she would rise
again and eliminate humans, when the moon turns
red. One more time." he replied.

~Amy's heart began to race, but Melanie wasn't(at
all)scared. "What was her name?" she asked. Jake
smiled. "Tabitha." he answered. There was a brief
silence. Then; Mel heard that same voice, she had
heard earlier. She glanced around.

~"Wait a minute! 'When the moon turns red.' Isn't
that a lunar eclipse?" Amy said, breaking the brief
silence. "Yeah." Melanie replied. "Well; when's the
next one?" she asked. "According to Mr. Benson;
the next one will occur on Halloween." Jake said.
"That's two days, from now." Melanie answered.
The wind began to howl.

~Then; the clock struck 10:00. "We better get a
little shut-eye, guys." Jake suggested. Amy and
Melanie, both nodded. Amy crawled underneath
her covers, while Jake and Melanie went to sleep.
On the floor.

[sweet8]

~A few hours later; Melanie suddenly woke
up, in a cold sweat. She glanced around the
room. Her two friends were still, fast asleep.
It was only a dream, but it felt so real; she
thought to herself. She tiptoed over, to the
window and looked up at the full moon. She
smiled. Just gazing at the moon seemed to,
always make her feel better.

~As she was about to move away, from the
window; something caught her eye. She saw
something moving, in the bushes. Maybe it's
just a cat, she thought. Then; she heard the
voice(again), but this time~she could hear it
clearly. "I have been waiting for you, my lost
love. Come to me." the voice whispered. She
moved away, from the window~still hearing
the voice. Inside her mind.

~She tried to ignore it, but it was no use. The
wind began to howl. Then; she sorta blacked
out. The next thing she knew, she was on the
other side of the street. Jake was holding onto
her shoulders and(lightly)shaking her. "Melanie,
are you okay?" he asked.

~She grabbed his wrists, as she answered: "I
am fine, but how did I get here?" Jake sighed.
"You don't remember?" he replied. Mel nodded
her head, no. "You were either sleepwalking or
in some sort of trance." he said, as he walked
her back~across the street. He was holding her
hand. "I was?" she asked.

~Jake nodded. "Wierd." she muttered, as they
went back into Amy's house. Then; she heard
that same voice, again.

~"Come back." it whispered. She glanced back,
only once. Amy was wide awake and waiting for
them, as they entered her room. "What is going
on?" Amy asked, as Jake let go of Mel's hand &
Mel sat down. Beside Amy. "Melanie was in some
sort of trance." Jake explained; as he sat down,
next to Melanie. Amy looked bewildered. "Is there
something, you're not telling us?" she asked. Mel
looked down, at her feet.

[sweet8]

~There was a brief silence, in the room.
Meanwhile, outside the window; the guy
(from before)was sitting in a maple tree.
He was watching them. "Soon, my love.
You will return to me." he said to himself,
as he smiled. He never took his eyes, off
of Melanie. Creepy, huh?

~Meanwhile, inside the room; Jake slowly
wrapped his arm~around Melanie. "Come
on, you can tell us." he reassured Melanie.
"It's just, I have been hearing this voice. I
know it may sound weird to you, but that
voice sounds so familiar to me. Like I have
heard it, somewhere before." she tried to
explain~as she rested her head, upon her
friend's shoulder. He smiled.

~"Well, Halloween is coming up." Amy said,
as she stood up. Then, suddenly; something
jumped through the window. Jake protected
Melanie(from the flying pieces of glass), while
Amy protected herself.

~The thing turned out to be, a guy. Melanie
looked up, at him and he smiled. At her. "I've
finally found you, at last." he said; as he held
out his hand, to her. Jake put himself, between
her and the mysterious stranger. "Stay away
from her." he said, bitterly. Amy scurried over
to her friends. The stranger grinned. "You think
you can stop me, human?" he replied.

~His eyes landed back, on Melanie. "Come with
me." he said, in a soothing yet sorta seductive
voice. Their eyes met.

[sweet8]

~Green eyes locked in a stare, with crystal
blue. Melanie suddenly became hypnotized.
"Come with me, my love." the stranger said,
as he held out his hand. She stood up and
began to walk towards him.

~Jake grabbed her arm. "Melanie, don't go
with him." he said, bluntly. She just stared
at him. "You're wasting your time, human."
the mysterious stranger responded, as he
smiled(an evil smile). Jake shifted his gaze
from the stranger to Melanie.

~"I must obey, he's my master." she finally
replied, as she turned towards the stranger.
"No, he is not." Jake answered, as Amy was
just hiding behind him. Her face~as white as
a sheet. Melanie didn't listen, she just headed
towards the stranger. She took his hand, into
hers(smiling).

~He brushed his hand, against her cheek and
smiled back at her. "My love, we are reunited.
Now; your kingdom awaits." he whispered, in
her ear. As the stranger began to lead her out,
the window; Jake went to make a grab at her.
He was unsuccessful.

~She moved out of the way, and Jake landed
onto the floor. Amy rushed to his side, as he
looked up. Melanie was staring down~at him.
His jaw dropped.

[sweet8]

~"Pitiful human." Melanie said to him; but when
she spoke, it wasn't her voice. It was someone
else's. The stranger smiled, as he led her out of
the window and onto a tree branch.

~"Jake, are you alright?" Amy asked, as Melanie
and the stranger disappeared into the night. He
didn't answer~he just stared out, hoping. "Jake,
you're hurt." Amy said, as she looked at his arm.
Apparently; he cut himself, when he fell onto the
floor. He turned and looked at his arm. "I guess;
I am, but I do not care." Jake responded, as he
stood up. The glass broke into smaller pieces, as
he walked on top of it.

~He headed into the bathroom, with Amy~not far
behind him. "What do you mean, by that remark?"
she asked, as he flipped the switch and grabbed
a washcloth. "Me, getting hurt doesn't matter to
me. Melanie is the only thing, that matters to me.
Understand?" he answered, as he wrapped the
washcloth~around his arm.

~"Yes; you've had a big crush on her, since first
grade. So; what are you gonna do?" she asked.
He turned and looked at her. "We have to save
Melanie." he answered.

~"I know; but we can't do it, tonight. We'll look
for her, in the morning." Amy suggested. "Why
not?" Jake asked, sounding inpatient. "Because
vampires can't go in direct sunlight, am I right?"
Amy replied. "You're right. We'll start our search,
at the crack of dawn." he responded. He threw
the washcloth, into the sink~while Amy grabbed
the first aid. She bandaged his wound and both
of them, went back to sleep.

~Meanwhile, in the woods; the trance must have
worn off, since Melanie is running away from the
stranger. He kept calling after her~telling her to
come back, but she ignored him.

~When she got to a clearing; she stopped, trying
to catch her breath. She glanced behind her~and
saw no one. She sighed(in relief), but when she
turned back around; he was there, staring at her.
As she was about to turn to run, he grabbed~by
her shoulders and pulled her closer. To him. She
tried to get away, but it was no use. "You aren't
going anywhere." he said, as he pushed some of
her dark brown hair~away from her neck. "I have
finally found you, after all these years. And I'm not
going to lose you, ever again." he whispered, into
her ear. Melanie gasped.

~He glanced up, at the full moon. "Isn't the moon
beautiful? But it does not even compare, to you."
he commented, as his fangs glinted in the moon's
silver rays. "Well; you certainly know how to flatter
a girl." Melanie replied.

~"Indeed, I do." he answered; as he kissed her, on
the cheek. She started to blush. As he attempted to
look into her eyes, she turned away from him. He let
go of her and fell onto, his hands & knees. He buried
his head, into his hands. "Why do you do this, to me?
Why are you scared of me, Tabitha?" he pleaded, as
tears began to form~in his eyes. Mel, all of a sudden;
began to feel sorry, for him. She sat down, in front of
him and placed a hand~upon his shoulder.

~"I am sorry." she whispered, in his ear. He looked at
her. "Why do you keep calling me, Tabitha?" she asked
him, as she wiped away~his tears. He took one of her
hands, into his. "Why, that is your name." he replied~
as he stood up, pulling Melanie up to her feet.

~"You must've confused me, with someone else. I am
Melanie Chase." she answered. They must have lost
track of time, because the stranger grew scared. "We
must be going." he said; as he started to run~pulling
Melanie, along with him. "Where are you taking me?!"
she exclaimed, as they rushed into the woods. "To a
place, where the sun can't find us!" he answered, as
he quickened his pace.

~Soon; they reached an abandoned building of some
kind. "Hurry!" he yelled, as he flung open the door. He
rushed inside, dragging Melanie(as well). Then; a gust
of wind blew the door, shut.

[sweet8]

*The next morning*

~The sun shined it's light through, Amy's window.
Jake's eyes fluttered open. He looked over at his
friend, who was already awake. She glanced over
at him and smiled. "Morning, Sleeping Beauty. Did
you have a good night's sleep?" she asked.

~He sat up, yawning. "Not really. How about you,
Amy?" he replied. She shook her head, no. "I just
couldn't stop thinking about Mel. What if he..." she
began to say, but her voice trailed off. Tears began
to form, in her eyes. Jake went over to his friend &
wrapped his arms, around her.

~She wrapped her arms, around his neck. "Don't
worry, Amy. We'll find her and bring her home." he
assured her. She nodded her head, slightly.

[sweet8]

~They sat there, for a while. The cool, autumn breeze
blew through the trees. Meanwhile, not far from there;
the stranger led Melanie up, a flight of stairs. Halfway
up the stairs, Melanie stopped. The stranger stopped
and turned to her.

~"Come on, we need to find a place to rest." he said,
pulling gently~on her arm. She didn't move, just shook
her head. "No." she muttered, under her breath. "What
did you say?" he asked. "I said, no." she answered, as
she glared at him. His smile fell.

~"But, Tabitha...." he started to say, but she cut him off.
"That's just it! My name is not Tabitha, it's Melanie." she
snapped. His eyes widened. "What do I have to do, to
make you believe that you are Tabitha?" he asked. She
heaved a sigh and rolled her eyes.

~Meanwhile; Jake and Amy were downstairs, eating and
trying to figure out how to save Melanie. "So; how are we
gonna find her? We don't even know which direction, they
went in." Amy said, as she ate a piece of turkey bacon. "I
don't know, yet." he answered, as he started to crack his
knuckles. Amy winced. "Can you please, not do that?" she
asked him, trying to be polite. He stopped. "Sorry." he just
mumbled, under his breath.

~There was a brief silence. Then, his face lit up. "I have an
idea. Do you remember last night, when I found Mel, on the
other side of the street? And later~when that guy showed
up?" he asked. "Yeah, but what does that have to do with
anything?" she answered.

~"Don't you see? He looked into her eyes and she fell into
a trance. He is a vampire, Amy. And he thinks that Melanie,
is someone else." he replied. "Well, who does he think she
is?" she asked. "I'm not sure, but I know someone that can
help us." he responded, as he grabbed an apple and went
to the front door. "Who?" she asked, as she followed him.
"My dad." he answered, opening the door and taking a big
bite~out of the apple. As he walked out of the house, Amy
soon followed. She shut the door, behind them.

~Meanwhile; Melanie and the stranger were still standing,
in the middle of the stairs, staring at each other. "What is
your name?" she asked him, breaking the silence. His jaw
dropped, slightly. "You don't even remember my name? It
is Nigellus, Tabitha." he replied. Her hands became fists.
"For the third time, my name is Melanie." she snapped at
him. He just stood there, shocked. "I don't know who you
are, but obviously, you don't know have a clue~as to who
you're dealing with." she added.

~"I do know. You are Tabitha, the love of my eternal life."
he responded, as he grabbed her shoulders. "You need a
serious reality check, buddy." she answered, heading back
down the stairs. He went, after her. "No! I am not going to
lose you, again!" he yelled, as she quickened her pace. She
glanced back at him, for only a second, but it was just one
second~too long. She sorta tripped and fell down, the rest
of the way. "Tabitha!" he exclaimed, as he ran to her side.
Luckily, no concussion or any broken bones. Just a couple
bumps and bruises. His bottom lip began to quiver; as he
lifted her up, into his arms and carried her~up the stairs.

[sweet8]

~Meanwhile, Jake and Amy finally reached his dad's
office. They both climbed out of Amy's mother's 1995
silver Taurus and headed toward the building. When
they walked in, they were greeted by a middle-aged
receptionist. "Good morning, Jake." she said, as she
took a sip of her coffee. "Good morning, Eileen. Is my
dad, in his office?" he asked.

~"Let me check." she replied, as she got up and went
into another room. Jake and Amy looked at each other.
A minute later; Eileen came back out and sat down, at
her desk. "He'll see you, now." she mumbled, pointing
to the open door.

~"Thanks, Eileen." he answered, as he and Amy went
through the open door. His father was at his desk, on
the computer. "Hey, dad." Jake said. His father looked
up and smiled. " Morning, Jake. Hello, Amy. How's your
mother?" he responded. "Great. Her leg's healed." she
replied. "Well, that's good to hear. So; can I do for you
two, today?" Jake's father asked, as he leaned back in
his chair. Amy glanced over at Jake. "We need to know
more about Tabitha, the vampire queen." he said, in a
firm voice.

~"May I ask, why?" his father asked. "Well; because it
is very important. We really need to know." Amy replied.
Her hands began to shake. "Is there something you are
not telling me?" Jake's father asked. The two teenagers
looked at each other and didn't say a word.

~Meanwhile, back at the abandoned building; Melanie's
eyes fluttered open. When she tried to move, her whole
body ached. "Ow." she whispered to herself. She found
herself, on an old mattress. "Ah, you're awake." a voice
said. She shifted her gaze from the ceiling, to the dark
corner. Nigellus's figure emerged, smiling. "What do you
want, from me?" she asked~hoarsely, as he started to
walk towards her.

[sweet8]

~"You, of course." he replied, sitting down at the foot
of the bed. She wanted to get as far away from him~
as humanly possible; but when she tried to move her
legs, all that she could feel was searing pain. She just
winced, as Nigellus moved closer. "It hurts me, to see
you like this. In pain." he said. His hand(lightly)touched
her leg. If only I could kick him, she thought to herself.
His tongue ran across his fangs, as he smiled. "I'm not
who you think I am." she whispered. "Why, of course
you are. And soon, you'll return to your former glory. I
promise." he answered.

~Meanwhile, across town; Jake & Amy followed Jake's
father down and into the basement archives. You can
tell that, Amy is not very fond of basements. She held
onto Jake, as they followed his dad down a corridor &
into a room.

~Lining the back wall; was one or two big bookcases,
filled with new and old volumes. Pushed into a corner;
was a wooden desk and chair, with a computer. Jake's
father sat down at the computer and turned it on. Amy
stared off, into space. "Son, can you please tell me what
is going on?" Jake's father asked him. "Uh; we just think
that someone might be trying resurrect her and use Mel
as a human sacrifice or something." Jake answered, as
he ran his fingers through his hair.

~Then, after an hour of searching the files; Jake's father
leaned back, in the chair. "Well, what did you find?" Jake
asked his father. "See for yourself." his father said, as he
stood up and Jake sat down. Amy came over and stood,
beside him. His father began pacing.

~" 'Centuries ago, before the creation of mortals; a race
of vampires ruled the Earth. Feeding on animals' blood &
staying out of direct sunlight, only one was born different
than the others. This special vampire was named Tabitha,
the vampire queen. Legends say that, she had the gift of
magic. To remind her subjects of her power, she was able
to turn the moon red. The color of blood.' "Jake read, out
loud. "Keep reading." his father told him.

~"Okay. 'Then; she fell in love with a fellow vampire, who
was known as Nigellus. He, too had the gift of magic. The
power of premonition. So then, one day; he had a vision,
revealing that his love's reign would come to an end. With
her death. Soon after his vision, God decided to create a
new race. Humans. One of them was not just any human,
but a vampire slayer.' " Jake read, aloud.

[sweet8]

~There was a brief silence, in the room. Jake's dad
had stopped pacing the floor. "Now, it's all starting
to make sense." Amy said, as she pushed her hair
back and put it in a bun. Jake turned and looked at
her. "What do you mean?" he asked. "Don't you get
it, at all? The mystery man from last night is, indeed,
Nigellus. Tabitha's lover." she explained. "Oh." Jake
said, nodding his head.

~"And the thing about the bloody moon? The lunar
eclipse is tomorrow night, on All Hallows' Eve." Amy
added. Jake's eyes widened, as he got up from the
chair. "Now, I get it. Just one question, how do we
kill him?" he asked, turning toward his father.

~Meanwhile; the pain from her fall dissipated, so she
was able to move her body. Without pain. Then, her
stomach growled. She slowly climbed off the bed &
headed toward the door. "Time to find some food."
she said to herself, as she went through the door.
Nigellus was nowhere to be seen. Or was he?

[elvenprincess666]

I gave the story a 14 out of 17 total points.

[Clare]

On behalf of Violinist5;

Creativity - 5
Enjoyment Factor - 4
Spelling & Grammar - 2
Likeness to Show - 3
= 14 / 17

[Clare]

Total
(14 + 14 ) / 2 = 14